After and Before
by melodyohsosweet
Summary: Break ups hurt. Remembering the first times and first glances and first touches. Having to see that person all the time. Kurosaki could not be mine. I had to deal with it. I had to move on. (Yes, it's Ichigo and Uryu story)
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I haven't written in forever, so sorry if this is rough. Just bear with me. I hope you enjoy my little tale.

Also, I feel the need to put in a trigger warning. There are going to be some dark things in here. Depression and such. So just be warned. This tale won't be all sunshine. There are a lot of clouds.

* * *

It wasn't supposed to end this way. It was supposed to save us. Save us from our enemies. Save us from ourselves. That's why I fell in love with the idiot. Because he was always saving people, and I was desperate to be saved. He could see it before I even could. How much I wanted life, even though I was always turning my back to it.  
I lay in my bed, covers up to my chin. This bed was so cold all alone. I slept with extra blankets to try to find the warmth I had with him, but I know I won't find it in this bed by myself. I lived alone for years. I worked alone for years. I had being alone down to a science. I knew exactly how to make myself forget what alone was. I occupied myself with things that didn't matter, and I made them my world. I lived and breathed by these things.  
Than I met you, and I wasn't so alone all the time. I found myself smiling. I found myself excited to go to school to see you. I found myself. Or at least I thought I did.  
But I think you aren't meant to find yourself in happiness. You find out who you really are when your heart is shattered all over the pavement. When you are broken into so many pieces you don't think you will find most of them, let alone figure out how they go back together. That darkness is when you find yourself. Because you either climb up into the light and move on, or you sit around all the broken pieces in the dark, and you become nothing.  
I'm smart enough to know that I can't just sit here. But I'm not sure I'm strong enough to climb my way out. Kurosaki was always the strong one. I was the smart one. We were amazing together. Nothing could stop us. Nothing could defeat us.  
Now there isn't even an us.  
I get out of bed and walk to the bathroom. I make sure not to look into the mirror. My eyes look dead and it hurts to look at them. Not after seeing the life they can hold. The love and trust. It's gone now. Now it's death I see and that hurts and I can not hurt anymore. I open the little cabinet, take out the little pill bottle, and pop a few into my mouth. Sleeping pills have become necessary lately. I can't sleep because every time I close my eyes I see his face. I see his big orange mess of hair. Big brown eyes. Soft lips against mine.  
"Stop!" I scream. I can't take it anymore. I always see him. Every single time I close my eyes. I can't remember exactly when things between us went bad, but even the worse times with him, fighting with him, was better than this. Because I loved him. And he loved me. Or he used too.  
I shuffle to my kitchen and make some tea. I needed something hot to try and warm my bones from the inside. I am tired. I am beaten. I am broken.  
I can't even run away anymore. I can't hide inside of my school work or my sewing or even archery. No matter where I go, I can feel Kurosaki there. He's been everywhere. He's tainted everything.  
But I promised myself I wouldn't do this. I wouldn't obsess over him. I wouldn't cry over him. I wouldn't stop being me without him. But here I am, without him, and I don't want to keep a single one of those promises.  
I also promised myself I wouldn't dwell on the memories of us, because he still gets to be apart of my life. Just not like that anymore. A tear runs down my face and I remember the first time he told me he liked me.

OooOooOoxOxoOooOooO

It was Autumn and rather warm for the season. I was sitting on a bench in the park. I was supposed to meet Inuoe, Sado, and Kurosaki here for some sort of anime festival. The park was filled with people in ridiculous outfits, and I loved it. I would love to make any of these outrageous outfits. I wouldn't even mind wearing some of them, as long as no one saw me in them. I was watching a particularly cute guy in an all white outfit with red and black sigils all over every inch of his exposed skin. I have no idea how he was supposed to be, but I loved the look.  
"He's too tall for you, Ishida. I think you would look better with some one... oh... I don't know... my height." Kurosaki said sitting next to me on the bench. My jaw dropped open. His big brown eyes were staring right at me.  
"I'm sorry, I-I-I don't think I heard you right. Could you p-p-please repeat yourself?" I stammered. I couldn't believe he just said that.  
"Do you really think I can say that twice in a row? Ishida, I think I'm more your type than him. Inuoe and Sado won't be here for another couple hours. I asked them to come a little late because I wanted to talk with you." Kurosaki said and he stood up. He was wearing his shinigami robes and he fit in perfectly in the crowd. He look pretty good compared to all the fake looking costumes. "Walk with me?" He asked and held his hand out to me. I didn't take it but I stood up and motioned for him to start walking. I was still in my school uniform, because I knew that a japanese school uniform would blend in with the crowd. I hated being noticed. And I think he was starting to notice me. I thought about it for a couple before this, but I always put it out of my mind. I couldn't be noticed. It just didn't happen.  
"I've been contemplating how to tell you this, but I don't think I've come up with a way, so I'm just going to tell you. Ishida, Uryu, I like you. And not in a friend way and not in a physics partner kind of way. In a I would really like to walk around this festival with you and buy you something to drink and something to eat and maybe I'll try to play a game and maybe I'll win you something kind of way." Kurosaki looked at me and his cheeks were all red. I was impressed he got that whole sentence out without stopping or getting angry. I'm sure my face had an expression of pure surprise on it. I like Kurosaki, but I'm not sure if I liked him the same way he liked me. I quickly forced my face into a blank expression.  
"This is not a date, Kurosaki. But I wouldn't mind walking around with you. Or getting something to eat with you." I reply. I was in shock. My mind was moving a thousand miles a minute. Why did he like me? Did he really like me? Is this a trick? What is happening?  
"Okay. This is not a date. It'll be a pre-date. You'll see. We are going to have a great time. And you'll want to go out with me again. Plus, in a few hours we will meet up with our friends so if you decide this is too weird, they will be here to your rescue. But I hope you enjoy yourself." Kurosaki said. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the crowd. He let go of my hand and he was blushing pretty hard. Did he want to hold my hand? Did I want him to want to hold my hand? I wanted to know, but I couldn't ask. That would be embarrassing. What if he didn't want to. What if he just realized what he done. He asked me, me, out. Was this just some plot. Some punch line to a joke that will do nothing more than hurt me and make him laugh.  
"You're panicing. I can see it all over your face. Stop thinking. Have fun. We've been friends for a long time, even if you wouldn't admit it. So this is not weird. You're cute, Ishida. And smart. And you are a really good person. Don't act like you are so surprised by this." Kurosaki said. I was shocked. Could he so easily read me like that? I always prided myself with being able to keep myself private. I didn't share myself the way normal people did. I always gave people the face they wanted, and hid myself. Yet he can see the distrust in my eyes.  
"You just surprised me, that's all. I guess I'm still processing it." I say and look into his eyes. I look for any sign that this was a trick or a game. But all I see in those big brown eyes is honesty. It's been awhile since I've really seen someone look at me like that, and it was nice. He smiled at me, and I looked at his lips. They looked soft. I could picture them against mine. I wondered how he tasted. I quickly look away from him and I could feel my face get hot.  
"So, uh, where is this maybe prize you will maybe win me?" I ask him and he smiles at me. We walk over to the games and get cotton candy on the way. We passed a few booths and I spot one I liked. It was a game of strength, something I am sure Kurosaki could win. And they had this little white bunny with a baby blue ribbon around its neck.  
"I see it. I'll get it for you." He said to me and walked up to the man conducting the game. To win you had to throw three balls at a pretty big stack of blocks. Kurosaki didn't even blink, he just looked back at me, winked and threw the ball. Hard. Every single block fell down. The man was shocked but gave him the bunny. Kurosaki handed the bunny to me and smiled at me. That smile was beautiful. It was one I've never seen before. A smile that was proud, yet humble. A smile that was sweet and genuine. It was something real, and I was not used to seeing some one be so real with me. I smiled back at him and I tried to make it as real as his. I don't know if I got it right, but his eyes seemed to light up just a little bit.  
"So, out of all these booths and all these prizes, why that bunny?" He asked me. I almost stopped walking next to him but forced my feet to keep moving and forced my face to make a smile.  
"Because I like this color of blue." I responded quickly and he didn't seem to notice anything different. Or at least he didn't let on he knew anything. I had a bunny just like this when I was younger. My mother gave it to me one of the times I was sick. But I didn't want to tell anyone that. I didn't want to ruin anything. I was always ruining things, and this I didn't want to ruin.  
We walked back to that bench we first started at and sat down together. We haven't talked too much but it was nice just being in his company. I wasn't sure if it was the actual boy sitting next to me, or if it was just because he willing to sit next to me that had me so... happy? Was that this feeling? I wasn't sure. I usually didn't like interactions, but this was nice. He was nice. I slowly slid my hand over to his and laced my fingers through his. His hand was warm. I snuck a peek at him and he had this face splitting grin. He looked so happy, and it was because of me. I made that smile. So I smiled back. Because how can you look at some one that happy and not just become happy yourself. It's like he infected the air with his joy and it was seeping into me.  
It was a warm feeling. I was often cold, so warm was a nice change.  
"Eeeeeeekk!" We both heard her high pitched squeak at the same time and we looked up. Inoue was bouncing towards us with a smile almost as big as Kurosaki's. I could tell it was fake, but Kurosaki seemed to think it was real because he gave my hand a squeeze and gsve her an approvong look. Sado was walking behind her and his face was blank. He could clearly see us from where he was and he didn't show anything.  
He must be disgusted by us. He must think we are monsters. Boys are not supposed to be together. I've been told that my whole life. My father was always afraid I would grow up to like boys. I mean, the sewing and baking and the fact that I've never once thought of a girl like that. I'm sure every one thought I liked boys. That's why Kurosaki didn't hesitate to ask me out. Because it's just general knowledge that I like boys.  
But I wasn't gay. My father was sure to make sure I wasn't ever going to turn out like that. What was I doing here with this boy? Father would find out and he would be so angry. He would try to cure me. Like I was sick.  
I started to sweat and Kurosaki got this puzzled look on his face.  
"I have to go. I'm sorry." I said and ran home. I ran as fast as I could. I was being stupid and selfish. I was going to get people hurt. I always hurt the people that I cared about. I laid on my bed, under the covers and closed my eyes as tight as I could. I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket and I pulled it out and opened the message. It took a minute before I opened my eyes and read the text.  
Today was fun. We can take things slow. Or we could be just friends. Whatever you want. I liked seeing you smile today. I would like to see you smile more. -K.  
How do I respond? How do I react when I don't know what I am supposed to do. Is it okay for us to be together? Or not? Father taught me it wasn't okay. He taught me that I was wrong.  
I already left my Father behind. Why can't I leave the awful things he taught me? I texted him back.  
Today was fun. Maybe we can go out again. Maybe this time I'll take you out. -I.  
I felt very selfish for sending that to him. Like I was letting every one down. But I wanted to be selfish for once. Kurosaki was warm. I like how warm he is. I wouldn't mind that warmth surrounding me. Taking over.

OooOooOoxOxoOooOooO

Tears are falling down my face. Even after all this time, I still have that same text in my phone. I couldn't delete it. I couldn't erase him from me like that. Not when he showed me all the wonderful things I could be. Warm. Happy. Selfish. Content. Gay. I could be me. And now it's me that's keeping me from what I want. I wanted him. But I can't because that was wrong and selfish and some times you weren't allowed to be selfish. Not when you love them. You have to put them first.  
Finally the pills start to take affect and I feel myself falling asleep. I will soon be in a dark sleep. I will not dream of brown eyes and orange hair. I will not dream at all. I will be free.

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Please review! I really want some feed back! I'll update as soon as I can. I've been busy but I will work hard to get these chapters out.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Sorry about the late update! Work has been crazy lately! Working fifty hours a week and taking care of a household! It's been hard to find time for the stuff I need to do, let alone the things I want to do! But I'll try to update faster! At least once a week.

Anyway! Here is chapter two!

* * *

"I said wake up!" a feminine voice screams at me. My body is shaking violently and it takes me a moment to realise that I was being shook awake. I open my eyes and everything is kind of blurry. I see the shape of a person on my bed and they hand me my glasses.  
"It's about time you woke up. I've only been trying for the last ten minutes!" Kuchiki yelled at me. She had on a school uniform so she must have once again started to go to my school. I'm sure our teachers thought awful things about her and her family.

"Will you stop yelling? I have neighbors who probably hate me because you and all your stupid shinigami friends come into my home and yell!" I almost yell at her, but I keep my voice low. I don't want to give her a reason to be loud and my head hurt. I get out of bed and make myself a cup of tea in the kitchen. I make her one too, but I refuse to ask her if she wanted it.

"You know you missed school today. That's very unlike you." Kuchiki states. She sits at the little table I have and watches me. She must have heard about the break up.

"I wasn't feeling well today." I reply, but honestly I didn't even know. I must have forgotten to set my alarm last night. Or maybe the pills made me sleep through them. Lesson learned. No more than two sleeping pills on school nights.

"In your body or in your heart?" She said quietly. I never heard her be quiet, so I knew she was trying to be nice to me. I hated when people tried to be nice to me like that. I don't want pity. I want respect. The tea is done and I place a cup in front of her and sit across from her.

"I am not having this conversation with you today." I tell her. I didn't want to think to hard about it. Not yet. It's only been a week and I still couldn't even think of his name without my heart skipping a beat.  
"Will you have it with me tomorrow?" She asks. She sounded sincere, but I didn't believe it. I stare at the yellow paint on the wall behind her. I hate that shade of yellow.

"No. I don't think I will ever have this conversation with you." I state. She moves her head into my line of sight.

"I'm your friend too. I'm not just a shinigami and I am not just Ichigo's friend. I am your friend too and all of your friends are worried about you." She forces me to look into her eyes as she tells me this. I don't believe it. I only know them because of him and I don't ever hang out with them unless he is there.

"I'm fine. You don't need to worry about me." I say with as much conviction as I can. I want them to leave me alone. She doesn't seem convinced.

"If you really are okay than come to the movies with us tonight. Sado and Inoue would love to see you." She says with a big smile on her face. I don't trust it. I'm either going to show and and they won't be there or they will be there and just stare at me all night. Waiting for me to open up and break down. I would never do such a thing. I look away form her.

"I don't really enjoy going to the movies much." I reply politely. I sip my tea and I hate that my hand is shaking a little.

"We both know I'm not leaving without a yes for an answer. Plus, the movie is so cute! I've already seen it twice with Inoue! You're going to..." I stop paying attention to her babbling. I'm not sure if I'm going to go, but I know there will be only one way to shut her up.

"Fine. I will go, but I will not take your pity tonight. Friends do not pity each other." I cut her off but I don't really care. There isn't really a better way to stop her when she gets going like that.  
"Good! Movie starts in two hours. Be there or else I'll send Inoue over here and you will have to look into her big eyes and tell her you are not coming. Do you know how sad that would make poor Inoue." Kuchiki threatened me and we both knew she won. I couldn't disappoint Inoue like that. She must of seen the defeat into my eyes because she jumps up and does a little dance.  
"See ya soon!" She calls as she runs out of the apartment. She was indeed a weird girl.

I walk into my bathroom and look into the mirror. And that was a mistake. My eyes have dark circles under them. I look too thin. I don't look fine at all. It's only been a week but it looks like I haven't slept in months. My skin looked translucent and I really didn't want to go out. But how would I say no to Inoue.  
"You can't. So just get over it and get ready. It'll eventually end and you will be fine. You will always be fine." I say to my relfection but it's hard to believe anything I say. I'm always saying things I don't mean to please others. Kurosaki hated that I did that. I did it to him the most. I just wanted him happy.

I wanted to make him happy.

"Stop. You can't keep going down this road." I say out loud and force myself into the shower. The water is so hot it burns my skin. It feels good. I'm always just a little too cold and the heat of the shower finally makes me warm. The water falls down my face. All I can hear is the sound of the water running down my hair over my ears. Everything was muffled. I screamed and I could bearly hear it. I screamed louder and still all I could hear was the felt good to scream. I've been so silent since it happened. Talking to Kuchiki was the most I've said in the last week.

I shouldn't have stayed silent as he walked out my door.

I shake my head and get out of the shower. It was silly of me to scream like that. I had neighbors to think about. I get dressed in jeans and a deep purple shirt. I hate the way it hangs off my frame and throw on a big black coat. It helped make me look fuller and it was the warmest thing I owned.

The air was a little chilly, but it felt good against my face. It was fairly dark out. I didn't even know how late it was. I'm sure I'm early for the movie. There was no way that took me two hours to get ready. Forty-five minutes tops. Knowing Inoue, she was probably already seated in the theater with a big tub of popcorn and her own weird topping mix that she made.

I remember the first movie Kurosaki and I went to. It was about a month after we started dating.

OooOooOoxOxoOooOooO

Some one was rapidly knocking on my door and it drove me nuts. I opened the door as hard as I could and gave whoever was on the other side a death glare. Kurosaki started laughing and I slammed the door right in his face.  
"I will not be laughed at when you were being so rude in the first place." I called to him through the door. He opens it up and walks into my apartment like he owned the place.  
"How am I expected to react when you come to the door with that cute expression on your face?" He asks innocently and goes into my kitchen.

"That was not a cute expression, Kurosaki! What are you doing in my kitchen?" I ask as he clanks around my cupboards. He reaches up high for some mugs and his crazy yellow and pink shirt rises up just a little and his dark wash jeans sagged just a tad. He had this beautiful strip of skin showing and a nasty little scar on his right lower back peeked out. I want to ask, but then he might ask about some of mine and that was not something I wanted to discuss. He moves to the stove and his clothing rights itself. He didn't even notice me staring.

"I have a craving for this weird tea Inoue showed me. It's actually really good. I bought some on my way here and I thought you would like to have some tea with me." He replies and gives me a smile. I've learned that this smile is only for me. He doesn't wear it for anyone else.

"It's rude to barge into some ones home and just start making tea. It's my house, I should make the tea for my guest." I tell him, but I sit down at the table. He already knew his way around my kitchen. Long before we even ever got together he's been over here to study with me. My kitchen was not new to him.

"How much time have I spent here in the last month? I might as well start paying half the rent." He jokes and I laugh nervously. The idea was tempting and terrifying. I would never allow it. He gives me a weird look and I just smile at him. He's only seen the part of me that I show him. If he lived with me he would meet the real Ishida Uyru and that would not be good. No one likes him. I hate him.

"I'm not suggesting we move in together, Uyru. You can breath again. I get it. It's been a month and that would be moving way to fast. Hell, it took me two weeks to even get my first kiss." He winks at me and I blush. He always seemed to know what to say, and not the way I do. He means it. He says it from the heart. He doesn't think of the best reply and say whatever he thinks is right. I envied him. He sat down with me and we sipped our tea.  
"Do you want to go out tonight?" He asks me. I give him aquestioning look.

"Go out where?" I inquire. He always wants to go out. Going out makes me nervous.

"The movies. There's this one out about the grimm reaper and how he takes souls to the afterlife. Since we know what actually happens, I thought it would be fun to see." He gives me that smile again. I think he's learned that I have trouble saying no to that smile.

"Okay. When does the movie start?" I'm really asking how much time I have to worry over it.

"In forty-five minutes. Just enough time to finish our tea and get going." He replies. I don't know if he planned to ask me last minute so I wouldn't worry, or if this was spur of the moment. Knowing him, it wasn't planned. I haven't really voiced my worries to him. I don't want to bother him with them. I give him a smile.

It's a fairly cold day out. I was wearing three layers of clothes plus a giant hoodie and I still couldn't get warm. Kurosaki was in one layer and a coat and he didn't seem cold at all. It wasn't fair. We were walking pretty close to each other. Our shoulders would brush against each other every few steps and I could feel the warmth radiating off of him. I could imagine the warmth of him wrapping around me. His strong arms winding around my torso, his warm breath across my flesh. I could imagine the way his hands would feel soft yet rough exploring my body. I could imagine finally feeling warm because he would make my skin flush from the increased blood flow.

"I love that look on your face. I wonder what you are thinking about." Kurosaki interrupts my day dream and I blush a deep red.  
"I was just thinking about how cold it is out today." I reply and the smirk on his face made me think he didn't believe me at all.

"You're blushing pretty hard for just thinking about how cold it is." Kurosaki states and I look anywhere but at him. He laughed beside me and I felt him slide his hand into mine. They are as warm as I imagined.

"Your warm. It's not fair." I state and stick my tounge out at him. I loved the way he made me feel playful. I was always so serious and calculated. But out here alone with Kurosaki, I could forget about who I was supposed to be and just enjoy the moment. I was learning that he made me feel more like myself than I ever could imagine.  
"It's just one of the amazing perks of being me. And, one of the perks of being my boyfriend, is that I'll warm you up." He winks at me and pulls me into an embrace. I refuse to admit the little yelp that escaped my lips, but he quickly silenced it with a chaste kiss. He really was warm and his lips tasted divine. I loved the feeling of his arms around me like this. It was the most amazing feeling in the world. He wore this big goofy grin and I'm sure my expression mirrored his.

"We are going to be late to the movies if we don't get going." I say a little breathless and Kurosaki's eyes light up.

"we could always skip the movie and just go back to your place. Where we will be all alone." Kurosaki purs and I melt a little inside.

"I want to go to the movies with you. When was the last time we went out?" I reply and we start to walk again. I know we only went out a few days ago, but I thought it would be much safer being in public with him than all alone. I knew that he wanted me, but I was terrified of the thought. I mean, the most I've ever done was kiss. And he was the only one I've ever kissed!

"Public places. That's hot. I didn't know you were that type of guy, Ishida. Lovin this side of you." He says to me with a heated look that was hard to ignore. He was going to drive me mad.

"Whatever you are suggesting right now, I'm just going to pretend you didn't. I'm a respectable man, Kurosaki. I wouldn't ever do such a thing and you know that." I chastiesed him and he laughs. He always seemed so care free and at ease. Almost nothing really bothered him. I hoped that quality would rub off on me. I care too much about everything.  
"I'm not suggesting anything, unless you are into it. Than I'm suggesting a han-" I cut him off with a slap to the back of his head. I know what he was going to say and the thought of the words were intimidating, let alone hearing them out loud. I mean, was he really just about to suggest a hand job in a movie theater?!

"Okay, my very respectable man. Nothing naughty at the movies. Got it." Kurosaki said while rubbing his head and I give him a 'you desereved that' look.

The movie already started by the time we got there. We sat in the back and only a couple other people were in the theater with us. It was perfect. I hated over crowded places. Kurosaki already knew that, and this movie has been out for quite some time now. He probably guessed that this showing wouldn't be very busy. He really was thoughtful sometimes. I grabbed his hand and settled in for the show.

The movie was silly. The reaper was this old guy in a suit and a young girl in way too short of a skirt. I mean, why would a reaper wear a suit? Gotta look good to chaperone souls? I started to giggle and Kurosaki gave me a questioning look. I just shook my head at him.

The action was finally picking up, and the movie wasn't half bad if I didn't think about it too much. I really settled in, holding Kurosaki's hand and resting my head on his shoulder. I looked up at him and smiled. He was sweet. And cute. And charming. I was a lucky guy. He peered down at me and got a wicked smile spread over his face. He stole a kiss. And another. His lips were soft and warm. I got lost in the taste of him. His tongue brushed my bottom lip and I opened up to let him in. I repositioned and settled myself on his lap, trying to ignore the way the arm rest of the chair was digging into my thigh. His hand snaked around to the back of my head and tugged at my hair just a little. I bit his lip in response and Ichigo made this delectable sound in the back of his throat. I could feel him getting hard under me. My hands made their way down his chest and to the top of his pants. I slipped a finger just under the waistband of his underwear and a bright light shined on us.

"Break it up or take it elsewhere." A man holding a flashlight on us said. I heard the other people in the theater giggle and I turned bright red. I immediately moved to my own seat and I'm sure my whole face was beet red. Kurosaki was laughing next to me and refused to let me have my hand back. He gave me a quick peck on the cheek.

"I almost got my very respectable man to do very unrespectable acts in the theater with me. Either I am irresistibly hot, or you're not as respectable as we all thought." Kurosaki whispered into my ear and the only response I gave him was a wink.

OooOooOoxOxoOooOooO

I'm standing in front of the movie theater. I haven't been here since that time with Kurosaki. My heart clenches and I turn around and start walking back home. I can't go in there. I can't sit down and watch a movie with all my friends and pretend to be happy. I'm too tired. The wind whips my hair in my face and knocks my glasses to the ground. I bend down to pick them up and I feel something wet on my face. I slip on my glasses and wipe my cheek. When did I start crying?

Why do I keep randomly crying? Why am I angry and frustrated and hurt and all I do is cry? I went years without a single tear falling from my eyes. I haven't cried since my mother died. Not when I broke my ribs. Not when my cat died. Not when my father told me I was a disgrace and disowned me. Not when a hollow almost tore me into pieces and not even when I lost my powers. So why am I crying now?

It was all _His_ fault. He made me feel. He made me face things I rather have buried deep. He made me a crying, whining, wimp. He made me feel again just to bring me pain. I should have known better. I shouldn't have trusted him.

But I did. I still do. I know that if he ever needed anything, I would give it to him. I loved him. Even when all I want to do is hate him, I love him. I always will.

My body went ridged and it took a moment for my head to play catch up. There was a hollow nearby. And I could feel Kurosaki's spiritual pressure with it. They were close. That stupid idiot was close, and fighting one hell of a hollow. I'm sure he could handle it on his own, but this hollow was strong, and he wasn't the smartest fighter.

I was running towards them before I made the decision to go. I had to make sure he was okay. It doesn't take long to get to the scene and I was horrified. Kurosaki was a bloody mess and the hollow was clenching the boy in his grip. It was huge. Claws like a falcon, body of a bull, and the mask was so human like. I shot the hollows arm and it dropped Kurosaki to the ground and his body hit with a sickening thud.

I refused to feel. I refused to look at where his body dropped. I focused on the hollow and shot as many arrows as I could at his mask and it started to crack. The hollow roared and turned towards me and charged. I stood my ground and kept releasing arrows upon it. The mask broke in half and the hollow dissipated. I ran to where Kurosaki's body laid on the ground and I scooped him up in my arms. He was unconscious and he had three long scratches starting at his face and went down his body. His clothing was torn and blood was everywhere.

* * *

A/N: Ohhh! Left ya hanging! Don't worry! My next update won't take nearly as long! I hope. . So! Whatcha think? You have to tell me! Or I'll assume you hate it and I won't want to write. Just kidding. I want to write! I have plans for these boys!

Also! Would anyone be interested in helping me edit/stay motivated for writing? If so, just give me a shout out!

See ya next chapter!


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